Do you often do things because you think you “have to”? Are the words “should” or “ought to” an daily part of your thinking? You might be surprised how severely this limits your potential to be who you want to be, and to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.
Would you like to overcome the limits this kind of reasoning puts on your freedom?
Freedom
The first step in experiencing the free time you crave is to start responding to life’s situations in ways that are in harmony with your values. And the potential to rejoinder in harmony with your values starts redefining your relationship with “responsibility”.
Now, we’d be willing to bet that you’ve rarely (if ever) heard the idea of “freedom through responsibility” strung together in this way, let alone the opinion that the sooner you understand the relationship between these words, the sooner you’ll feel a life no longer ruled by “shoulds”, “have tos” and “ought to” thinking.
Freedom and responsibility Fit Hand-in-Glove
Most habitancy confuse responsibility with obligations, duties, and requirements, which are at the root of “should thinking”. Reconsider how many times this kind of reasoning takes over your world: “I should go visit my aunt in the hospital.” “I have to pick my kids up from school.” “I ought to return Sally’s call.”
“Should thinking” is the quickest way we know to create resentment in your life and to convince you that free time is just a fantasy. Why? Because it’s based on the reliance that you have no choice in the matter.
Life is full of circumstances where it may seem like your choices are limited, and you can see few ways to rejoinder effectively. However, even in situations that seem out of your hands, you still hold the key to true free time because you are never left without choice.
“What is freedom? free time is the right to choose: the right to create for oneself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice and the exercise of choice a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
One such choice we’ve made is to retell to the idea of responsibility differently than we learned it growing up. We now pick to understand it as our “Ability to respond”, or our “response-ability”.
It is by the very fact that we have this “ability to respond” that we all the time have a choice. But the examine then becomes: What might be limiting my potential to respond?
What’s Your Values Iq
We believe that “should thinking” is like having a straitjacket on your potential to rejoinder to the circumstances in your life–it almost guarantees that you will never feel the free time you desire.
The most effective way we’ve found to overcome this limitation is to develop the potential to rejoinder in alignment with your values. Getting good at this requires you to develop your Values intelligence Quotient, or your Viq.
The quickest way to improve your Viq is by studying how to avoid taking any actions unless you understand clearly how those actions support what you most deeply value. Developing this potential is the surest way we know to free your mind from impacts of “should thinking”.
Even better, enhancing your Values intelligence will allow you to stay open to the endless possibilities gift in every situation. It’s through studying and practicing this potential of response-ability for what you value that you can begin to feel true free time in your life.
Freedom Is By Choice
This leads us to one our favorite things to say, which is:
The fastest way to a happy life is found through aware choice.
Understanding that you all the time have a choice–and knowing clearly how to consciously pick in harmony with what you value–will open your eyes to new opportunities in all areas of your life. It’s only when you can see these opportunities that you’ll have the free time to pick consciously.
One way you can institution this new found free time is by starting to use your feelings as an alarm.
Any time you feel tense, there is most likely a choice to be made. Rather than deciding what you “should” do, pick those options that are in harmony with your values and the actions that will create a life you love.
Let free time Ring!
This whole process begins with the simple comprehension that you have a choice, that you can improve your potential to rejoinder in any situation, and then manufacture a commitment that whatever choice you make will be in harmony with what you value most!
This doesn’t mean that you won’t visit your aunt in the hospital, pick up the kids, or return Sally’s call. It means you’ll only take these actions because you understand why you value doing so, and experiencing the free time of only doing what you value.
The True Meaning of free time – Responsibility!
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